I think I am 'all over' dolls....yes, that is probably a bit of a shock to some who may read my blog, but I have been feeling like this for some time now on and off - probably about a year - so have decided to do something about it.
I am not going to act rashly immediately and get rid of them all...I don't think I could anyway as I am not very good at letting go. Instead I am going to box them all up and put them in storage for a while to see how I feel in say six months time. If I still feel the same and haven't missed them I will sell them.
I will keep a core group out - a maximum of 10, but hoping to keep the number around about five if I can - probably a hard call, but this will be a good indication of exactly how I feel. So there will still be the odd blog post here and there as it takes my fancy, but I think I really need to take a break and refocus and to work out exactly what I want and how I feel and where to go from there.
I may introduce a few dolls that arrived in the last month. Why? I ask myself did I have new arrivals knowing how I felt?! Perhaps the 'buzz' of something new in the hope that it will stimulate and excite, but it rarely has and if it has only for a very short period of time. I know some of the 'whys', continual pain is always a big factor, the subsequent feelings that come along with this, and the longing to return to NZ and missing my parents is another - and so I 'compensate' for these things by a continual 'search' for something that will distract me, but this isn't really working, the pain is still there, the loss of my music is still there and the deep seated longing and 'home sickness' is still with me.
So I could probably write more, but won't for now.
It sounds like you have a lot to deal with right now - I hope you're able to work your way through it all with as little pain as is possible.
ReplyDeleteI'll miss seeing your regular posts about the doll adventures, of course, but there's always more to life than dolls. Wishing you all the best in dealing with paring down your collection and with life in general! Best thoughts!
Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comment...I am sure the odd post will appear ;-) I am already feeling slightly better at finally making this decision. I now just have six dolls out at the moment (not counting the Hittys on their shelf in the conservatory and the Makies on their shelf - still thinking about whether to pack them up as well).
DeleteTwo of the six are to 'look at' as they make me smile, the other four are my two BJDs and Peggy Sue and Henry.
Lorraine, it is hard to be looking for something, and not know for sure what it is, but only recognize it when you finally find it. I pray that you will. Something tangible, in thought or touch, that will help you with the pain and loss and loneliness.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my heart.
warmly,
Beth
Thank you dear Beth, your words mean a lot to me and you have hit the nail right on the head with all you write. I hope I do as well.
DeleteBless your heart, Lorraine! I know that feeling too, and after paring down a while back have managed to keep my dolly numbers low. But at the same time, temptation strikes every now and then as well. I also deal with daily pain, and miss lots of loved ones that I won't see again until I leave this world. I wish you the best with everything. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you dear friend. It is hard isn't it?!
Delete