I think I am 'all over' dolls....yes, that is probably a bit of a shock to some who may read my blog, but I have been feeling like this for some time now on and off - probably about a year - so have decided to do something about it.
I am not going to act rashly immediately and get rid of them all...I don't think I could anyway as I am not very good at letting go. Instead I am going to box them all up and put them in storage for a while to see how I feel in say six months time. If I still feel the same and haven't missed them I will sell them.
I will keep a core group out - a maximum of 10, but hoping to keep the number around about five if I can - probably a hard call, but this will be a good indication of exactly how I feel. So there will still be the odd blog post here and there as it takes my fancy, but I think I really need to take a break and refocus and to work out exactly what I want and how I feel and where to go from there.
I may introduce a few dolls that arrived in the last month. Why? I ask myself did I have new arrivals knowing how I felt?! Perhaps the 'buzz' of something new in the hope that it will stimulate and excite, but it rarely has and if it has only for a very short period of time. I know some of the 'whys', continual pain is always a big factor, the subsequent feelings that come along with this, and the longing to return to NZ and missing my parents is another - and so I 'compensate' for these things by a continual 'search' for something that will distract me, but this isn't really working, the pain is still there, the loss of my music is still there and the deep seated longing and 'home sickness' is still with me.
So I could probably write more, but won't for now.